You and me against the world

I can’t make it all better
but I’ll always be there to try
always be there to catch the tears
that fall as you cry
And when I’m feeling down
you always make me smile
and often I’ve wished that I could talk to you all night
you’re always close to my heart
and never far from my mind
and someday you and I could leave all this behind
for something better
no matter what happens
We’ll face this world together
And I just want you to know
that even when you’re far away
part of you comes with me
everywhere I go

Free Falling

Free falling
descending down
into a bottomless pit of blackness
where it leads
I don’t know
but the blackness starts inside my soul
consuming me from the inside out
I try to scream, but I can’t let it out
Free falling
descending down
the further I fall
the less I can see
the more I give into this darkness
as it overtakes me
till there is nothing else
free falling
descending down
into the endless abyss
fading faster now
bridges burned
innocence lost
hell bound
free falling
Down
Down
Down

Addiction

You call to me
and I answer
You speak to me
and I listen
You lie to me
And I believe you
You summon me
And I follow
You lead me astray
and I like it
You shove me down
And Im falling
Im falling
And I know when I finally get the strength to drag myself back up again
You will be there waiting
waiting
to shove me back down
down where I belong
down to where some sick and twisted part of me rests longing to stay forever
forever
tortured in this prison
Because it’s easier
and you’ve made me believe I deserve it

Tell you everything

If I could tell you everything I would.
If I could sit you down and cry into your shoulder,
spend hours and hours confessing all the things I’ve kept from you and all the things I’ve covered up,
all the drastic measures I’ve taken to mask my shame and hide who I really am;
hide myself from you.
But all the lies they run so deep;
you’re not the only one I’m hiding myself from.
I’m hiding from myself too,
because I just can’t stand the person I’ve become.
I don’t want to find out just how deep it runs.
No way.
And what would you say?
what would you do?
If you knew,
knew I’m not at all who you think I am.
I’d expect you to be angry,
disappointed,
disgusted.
What if you couldn’t forgive me?
Or even worse…
What if you could?
Truth is I wouldn’t want you to.
I’d want you to smack me across the face,
hard,
till my vision blurred.
I’d want you to slam me repeatedly up against the wall,
shove me down to the floor, and kick me in the stomach till I curled up in a ball.
I’d want you to pull my hair,
and scratch me deep with your fingernails.
spit on me.
use your fists to beat down on me.
call me a stupid pathetic bitch,
a fat ugly useless no good whore.
Then walk away,
leaving me there to bleed,
giving me everything I deserve.

Lost in the clouds

There’s a girl there
with a tired smile
her weary blue eyes
gaze at nothing
as her mind drifts off
thinking of all the things she’s done
all the things that went wrong
the way she’s never won
feeling hopeless and lost
but still holding on
there’s a girl there
but she’s not really there
her heads in the clouds
where nothing feels real
where no one can hurt her
She’s safe up there
for now
until the storms come
to wash her back down

Shhh… Don’t tell

Head up straight
Eyes bright
Smile wide
Throw that head back and laugh
you’ve always been good at pretending
Shhh… Don’t tell
Don’t let them see
They’ll never realize
you’re dying inside
they’ll never know what you think about
when you go home at night
close the door to your room
and break down
as you finally let it all go
the voices in your head whispering
over your muffled screams
shhh…Don’t tell
Don’t ever let them know

These Dirty Hands

step away
keep your distance form me
from these dirty hands that no matter how hard I scrub
they will never come clean
from this twisted mind
that is so far beyond obscene
from this corrupt heart
that pumps venom through my veins
from these eyes that search actively
for ways to destroy you
these fingers clench and unclench
intent on strangling you
wrappping tight around your neck
pressing down hard
till you cant breathe
watching your eyes wide with panic
your limbs flailing uselessly
watching the life drain from your eyes slowly
till they go still
cold and hard
the way mine already are
because of you
because you killed me slowly too
without ever laying a finger on me
you killed me on the inside
where no one could see